A wise man once said that the best sex is with someone that you love. I’ve had some pretty great sex with people I didn’t love, but I do agree that the more you are invested in the other person and the more connectivity you have, the better your experience with them is likely to be.
Your first misstep with an escort is in thinking of her (or him) as a living doll that you have purchased. First of all, what you’ve bought with an escort is their time and what consenting adults do during that time is their business. That being said, typically, sex is what is going to take place when you hire a professional companion and if you want to have good sex, and a good experience overall, here are my recommendations.
Paid companionship may still be considered socially unacceptable, but it actually has a lot of advantages to it. That’s the reason that my husband James and I have spent time with both male and female escorts. Our advice is to get the classiest companion you can afford. That doesn’t necessarily mean the most expensive, but the people who are doing this as a successful career are less likely to be on drugs, have STDs or other things that you probably don’t want to encounter. Professionals tend to get tested regularly and to be careful about safer sex, although that is definitely something to ask about in the screening process....
You actually really want someone who does fairly substantive screening. It’s a bit of a nuisance, but it’s worth it. They want to be assured that you aren’t a trafficker or a psycho and being willing to help them feel more comfortable without complaint is a sign of respect that starts things off on the right foot. It’s also good for you as well, because it’s one more indication that your escort is a professional.
A LinkedIn profile is often enough because it shows that you are who you say you are and that you have a job. If you don’t have a profile, you may need to jump through some other hoops designated by your provider to get approved to see them. There are some vetting services out there, but once you’ve been with an escort, you can use them as a reference, which is one important reason to be a good client. Another is that you might want to see them again.
There are several online directories for finding escorts in your area, many of which will then direct you to the escort’s personal website. Fantasy-Escorts is one of the best ones. People with professionally done photos and websites will probably be a better bet, although there are, of course, exceptions to this. Some escorts travel to several cities on a regular basis or are available to travel to where you live upon request. Each will have their own parameters and fee structure for this.
Agencies are another option, and they guarantee that your escort has been vetted by someone, but you will pay more for that and it’s not always the guarantee of quality that you imagine it is. Cowboys 4 Angels is the premier nationwide agency of straight men available to women. For several years, there was a show about them on Showtime called Gigolos.
But independent entrepreneurs have a larger stake in repeat business and you just might have a better experience with one of them. How the person feels to you intuitively once you’ve contacted them is probably a better indication of whether or not this person is really a good fit for you. Their look is important, but their overall vibe perhaps even more so.
Your escort will probably indicate how they prefer to be contacted. Some want to hear the client’s voice in order to get a sense of them. Some only want to set things up via email, text, or their website’s scheduling program. Don’t be shy about asking questions, however, or about putting forth a preference. Your professional companion wants to know about your fantasies in order to better accommodate them or to let you know that they aren’t on the menu.
Just follow the rules and preferences that have been set forth and your escort will make sure you that you have an awesome time because that is their job. People in this industry truly do not care that you don’t look like a model. It’s their job to keep themselves fit and beautiful but for them, a good client is someone who is easy to get along with, respects their boundaries, interacts with them honestly, and really enjoys their attentions and expertise.
Pay them the stated rate for their time in cash placed in a plain white envelope set out in a conspicuous place at the beginning of the appointment. Show up clean, nicely dressed, with your fingernails trimmed and your breath fresh and they will be thrilled! I’ve heard some horror stories of guys who didn’t do this. You really don’t want your escort posting pictures of the skid marks you left on her sheets. Talk about embarrassing!
When we have someone over to our house, we ask them beforehand what they’d like to drink and we put together some snacks to nibble on while we chat a bit and to keep our energy up later on. If we go to their in-call, we bring a bottle of wine, some flowers, or some other small token. This isn’t necessary, but it is very nice, particularly if you are expecting to have a girlfriend or boyfriend experience (GFE/BFE). The more you treat an escort like a person that you like and respect, the better time you are going to have with them because that treatment will be reflected back on to you the client.
Lots of escorts do doubles which means they will work with someone else, often someone they already know, so if you ever want to try a threesome without a lot of the things that can go wrong trying to set one up on your own, that is a great option. Many have a favorite colleague so if you find one person you like, then you don’t have to go through the entire screening process again to find the second one because they can make some suggestions.
My husband and I only see other people together, so this is one of the reasons we sometimes hire escorts — it’s a guarantee of a fun time without any worries about the weirdness that you sometimes encounter with a more traditional date and it’s easier to find somebody that we are both interested in. James says when he’s with two women, he feels like a king and we’ve actually gotten quite close to Tamara, the woman whom we most often see, although we have a favorite male escort as well.
This is the point, in fact, to have fun — not to try to use the other person as a living sex toy. When you treat it more like a date and less like a transaction, there’s going to be a higher quality experience all around. Many escorts say that a certain percentage of their time is spent just talking with clients, having the other person feel listened to and accepted. This in itself is a valuable service. We talk pretty much non-stop with the escorts that we see because we really like them as people. In turn, they tell us that we are by far their favorite couple — something for which there is no downside and a lot of upsides.
There really is a lot of potential for good basic human connection from a professional companion. This doesn’t mean that you don’t recognize the relationship for what it is but at the same time, what it is can be quite friendly and positive, as well as a sexy good time. Professional companionship doesn’t deserve the stigma that it still has in many quarters. It’s a job, plain and simple, and many of the people who do it are kind, intelligent, sensitive people who like to help others feel good.
It’s perfectly legal to pay to spend time with someone, but because there is a fine line between that and things that are not legal, it’s good to go into the process armed with some knowledge about how it all works, what is likely to be expected of you, and how to get the most out of your time and money. The bottom line is if you treat an escort with respect and go into it with the intention of having fun and not just of being serviced, you’ll do fine and most likely will have a great time.